DISCOVERIES: THE ALL-NEW 2014 GMC SIERRA 1500 ALL TERRAIN 4x4

This is America. In America, we love trucks.

And, as an American, I am officially duty bound to love trucks, too. None more than the all-new 2014 GMC Sierra All Terrain. (Much to the detriment of his marriage... -ed.)

To the standard - and completely revamped - GMC Sierra platform, the All Terrain ups the ante with loads of off-road hardware. We're talking functional stuff, like on upgraded Z71 off-road suspension with Rancho® Tenneco shocks, Hill Descent Control, front recovery hooks, an automatic locking rear differential and a comprehensive transfer case shield - not to mention, beefy 18-inch wheels wrapped in meaty, red-blooded off-road tires.

Style-wise, like all lawyers, I tend to judge a book by it's power tie, so the dapper HID/LED headlights, exclusive available ebony interior and unique exterior appearance package don't disappoint.

No, the All Terrain is not as stupid dramatic as the Ford Raptor or the Ram Power Wagon, but it also doesn't look quite as stupid rolling up to lucrative Client lunches... which definitely makes it tops in my roster.

'Merica.

Proud byproduct of Flint, Michigan/Roanoke, Indiana.

Verdict: The 2014 GMC Sierra All Terrain is all over my mind... And I like it.

Image Ref: GM News, © General Motors.

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DISCOVERIES: THE HOME PLOW BY MEYER

When the weather service actually starts naming winter storms, just like hurricanes, it's time to take stock and stock up on the latest snow defeating technologies.

But screw all-natural ice melt pellets and discount scraper mittens. My latest discovery is  The Home Plow by Meyer. With which, I can finally live out my most lurid Mr. Plow fantasies without leaving my powerful, high-paying day job.

So tantalizing.

To make things easy for your average home user, the plow assembly appears to snap to your front bumper via a Class 3 front receiver hitch. Meaning that The Home Plow should fit on most SUVs or Light Trucks, like your fancy-pants Mercedes G-Wagon or the now departed Jeep Liberty pictured. (No word on the abomination that is all-new 2013 Jeep Cherokee. -ed.)

This demo does not do the awesomeness justice.

As an added bonus, Meyer claims that this is the only fully automated snow plow on the market for less than $3,000 bucks. (Which is far less than the average eat-in working lunch around here... -ed.)

For more pics, info and your nearest retailer visit The Home Plow by Meyer site. Or follow them on Facebook. Your choice, Plow King.

Follow me to freedom.

Have a snow ball.

More plower to ya'.

Also available in cordless.

Images as seen on: The Home Plow by Meyer

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10 MANLY, RUGGED & OUTDOORSY HOLIDAY GIFTS UNDER $25 DOLLARS

The Internet tells us that to survive in the wilds your gear must be forged from the finest titanium and carbon fiber composites. That tactical buzzwords are more important than functionality. And that, no matter what, your hardware must be as expensive as f@ck.

Well, screw Gear Patrol, Gear Junkie and their elitist ilk. This is not true. Never has been. Never will be. So stop asking yourself, "where can I buy outdoor gear too fancy to ever actually use?" and check out these manly, rugged and outdoorsy gifts you can stuff under the Christmas tree for well-under $25 bucks:

COGHLAN'S STEEL SHAFT CAMP AXE

At 1 lb. 14 oz. it may weight a bit more than those fancy tactical axes boasting DFARS certified, aerospace grade 6AL4V Titanium, but with its forged steel head and steel shaft, it'll get the job done for years to come at a fraction of the toll.

GERBER GATOR MACHETE

Up against brush, small firewood and a rampaging zombie hoard? Give the gift that keeps on cutting with the Gerber Gator Machete. Packing a high-carbon steel serrated blade and saw rendered in a scary non-reflective black finish, not to mention the prestigious Gerber name, the Gator Machete is guaranteed to cut through the under-tree clutter. (Also helpful for unwrapping stubborn presents. -ed.)

GERBER GORGE FOLDING SHOVEL

Camp shovels are important, if often neglected, pieces of kit. At 28 oz. the carbon-steel-bladed Gerber Gorge folding shovel does the job in style. Plus, whether you're digging a foxhole or digging into a mountain of Christmas dinner mashed potatoes, it does double duty with a hammer surface built into the base.

MAGLITE 4 C-CELL FLASHLIGHT

Manufactured in the USA from super-durable aircraft aluminum it has great hand feel, it offers excellent illumination endurance and it cracks some skulls. The choice of Police officers everywhere, no matter which Maglite you choose it's sure to be a choice gift cherished for decades to come. (U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A! -ed.)

HYDRO FLASK 12 OZ VACUUM INSULATED CANTEEN

Keeps your hot drinks hot, your cold drinks cold and doesn't burn or freeze your hands while doing it. After our recent review, I'm a big fan.

BRUNTON CLASSIC 8040G COMPASS

With an optic green base, USGS map scales, a state-of-the-art cobalt steel needle, clear liquid dampening and ton of other official sounding stuff, the Brunton Classic 8040G Compass is a great deal on the real deal.

YAKTRAX PRO TRACTION DEVICE

Ice is a cold mistress. Cut down on distracting holiday-season slip and fall claims with a pair of Yaktrax. In my personal experience, these things work wonders.

GERBER BEAR GRYLLS BASIC SURVIVAL KIT

Even though Bear Grylls has been pretty much discredited as a lying cheater, this kit is not cheating you. Besides delivering survival essentials, like a Gerber Mini Paraframe Knife, fire tinder, waterproof matches, an emergency whistle and more, it also provides you with peace of mind. And who doesn't want that? (Other than Bear Grylls... snap! -ed.)

TEXSPORT SINGLE BURNER PROPANE STOVE

With 5,000 BTU's, an adjustable heat control and a large paddle foot base for stability, camp stoves don't get much more simple, or well-priced, than this.

SMARTWOOL MOUNTAINEER SOCKS

If you're going to give socks... which I certainly hope you're not... these babies are the only socks worth gifting. Super warm and comfy, with great moisture control, they're a must for padding around the house while summiting K2.

VERDICT: You don't have to spend a fortune to gift like a soldier of fortune.


Did we nail it, or did we fail it? Sound off in the comments below or @PstApclyptcLwyr on Twitter.

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FIVE RON SWANSON-THEMED GIFT IDEAS RON SWANSON WOULD PROBABLY APPROVE OF

Christmas and the assorted associated gift-giving holidays are fast approaching. So what do you get that red-blooded, meat-noming, government-mistrusting relative or coworker (probably with a heart of gold) who just so happens to want for nothing he/she can't craft with their own two hands?

Most likely you won't find it a Walmart Black Friday Sale stampede. No, you have to dig deeper than the shallow baubles and flat screen televisions that the commercialized military industrial complex prefers to peddle down your throat. You, sir or madame, need a gift of Ron Swanson magnitude. As such, I present to you the top Ron Swanson gifts worth giving this holiday season. Now, go forth and consume, Patriot!

Gift #5 - Ron Swanson Inspired Flattened Bottle Cap Magnets

AS SEEN ON: Snug-A-Bug Blankets via Etsy.com
KEY ATTRIBUTES: Bacon, Eggs and Beer
PRICE: $4.00 USD
MADE IN: Canada, America's 51st State.
SUITABLE FOR: Overpowering less enlightened refrigerator art

Gift #4 - Turf & Turf Ron Swanson Print 8x10

AS SEEN ON: Bill Main via Etsy.com
KEY ATTRIBUTES: Who doesn't love meat with a side of meat?
PRICE: $18.00 USD
MADE IN: California, USA.
MEAT LEVEL: Set to eleven.

Gift #3 - DIY Ron Swanson Cross Stitch Kit

AS SEEN ON: Bombastitch via Etsy.com
KEY ATTRIBUTES: The best gifts are the ones you can do yourself
PRICE: $13.00 USD
MADE IN: Texas. Just Texas.
SUITABLE FOR: The wife (Or civilized men who appreciate the beauty of fine needle works. -ed.)

Gift # 2 - Parks and Recreation Clear Alcohols Poster, Size A2

AS SEEN ON: CreativeSobriety via Etsy.com
KEY ATTRIBUTES: Words of wisdom
PRICE: $40.00 USD
MADE IN: Bloody England (I'll let this one slip. -ed.)
IGNORE: The metric measurements. Because they're metric.

Gift #1 - "Ron Swanson's" Mustache Comb Second Edition, Possibly Carved by the Man Himself

AS SEEN ON: Offerman Woodshop
KEY ATTRIBUTES: Mustache grooming, Ron-ness
PRICE: $75.00 USD
MADE IN: America, baby. Just like G. Washington intended.
ALSO SUITABLE FOR: Father's Day

Did I make the call, or did I drop the ball? Sound off in the comments below or hit me up on Twitter.

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THIS IS A THING: THE HUNGER GAMES HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

Merchandising is best when milked.

Yes, post-apocalyptic costumes are all the rage this Halloween, thanks in part to big ticket pop-culture properties like the Hunger Games Franchise. After raking in massive book and ticket sales, it was inevitable that the Halloween costumes would follow. And, oh boy, they have. Let's explore, shall we?

First, there's The Hunger Games District 12 Training Shirt. Sure, I'll buy that.




Then there's the Hunger Games Mockingjay Pin. Ok. Makes sense.




And The Hunger Games Jacket costume. I suppose I'm still picking up what you're putting down...




I'll even go so far as to accept The Hunger Games Katniss Dog Tags. (Cute. -ed.)




But official The Hunger Games District 12 socks?!




The actual apocalypse can't come fast enough.

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BREAKING: GOVERNMENT KILLS HAUNTED LIGHTHOUSE AUCTION

In the waning months of Summer, 2012, the United States General Services Administration placed the Penfield Reef Lighthouse up for auction. Just a few scant months later, mere days before Halloween, they abruptly cancelled it. But why? 

Probably because it's haunted. Guarding Penfield Reef on the south side of the Black Rock Harbor entrance to Long Island Sound since 1874, rumor and Wikipedia have it that the station is a potent host to a plethora of paranormal abnormalities. (So you'll probably want to ride out the inevitable zombie apocalypse elsewhere. -ed.)

Spoooky.

Reports of strange events began after the death of Lighthouse Keeper Frederick A. Jordan on December 22nd, 1916. Lost in rough seas in a failed attempt to row to shore for Christmas celebrations, his ghostly visage was first reported just two weeks later by Assistant Keeper Rudolph Iten. Later keepers experienced the apparition and its ill-effects on the light, as well, even going so far as to sign affidavits describing the encounters.

Yikes.

The tales came to a head in 1942, when two boys reported that the ghost saved them from drowning. After the Coast Guard automated the  station in 1971, the stories slowed to a trickle. And now, after years attempting to force the sale of the Penfield light, the GSA is pulling the auction prematurely. But why?

Site of the encounter.

Now, I'm no ghost hunter, but the station was one of the last masonry lights ever built in the United States. Shortly thereafter, offshore installations transitioned to cast iron towers. Based on the knowledge I've gained via 16 viewings of Ghost Busters 2 and an episode of Food Network's Halloween Wars, I posit that the soft stone construction may be absorbing the ghostly energy, perpetuating the haunting effect. Ergo, good ol' Fred is conspiring to keep the light in its decrepit state, so that he may mourn his ghostly life alone. (Right... that's toootally it. -ed.)

Extra scary story.

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves with this whole "haunted hypothesis thing," they say the bidding has been cancelled due to governmental "discussions" over the submerged lands lease. Verbatim:

Auction Sale-Lot # BOSTN112005001 has been cancelled due to renewed discussions with the State of Connecticut regarding the required submerged lands lease.  Penfield Reef Lighthouse will be reoffered in the Spring of 2013 with a new Sale-Lot #.  GSA will post a new Invitation for Bids at that time.

But we all know (probably) that it's been cancelled due to haunting (totally). There is definitely (kinda) some serious Scooby Doo level stuff going on here. (Or not...) Long story short, if you want to own this haunted lighthouse you'll have to wait till Spring.

No one can hear you scream.

Penfield Reef Light Station

41° 07' 02" N, 73° 13' 22" W

Sale-Lot Number: BOSTN112005001

For more images, visit the GSA Shutterfly account for the Auction.

Haunted lighthouse for sale. Not.

Image Reference: GSA

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DISCOVERIES: JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE TRAILHAWK SPECIAL EDITION

Take a stroll through the executive parking lot. What do you see? Mercedes? Bavaria's finest? A Lexus or three? With nary an American badge in view, all I see is a travesty.

Fortunately, Jeep® has seen fit to oblige the domestic 1% (especially us down-and-dirty, hoity-toity types) with a true American contender: the Grand Cherokee Trailhawk(TM) special edition.

By their own words, it's "the most awe-inspiring, most extraordinarily capable Grand Cherokee ever conceived." Tall words, yes. Insanely over-promising words, also yes. But judging by the following truncated list of bitchin' features, I'm inclined to agree. Check it:

• Quadra-Lift® adjustable height suspension
• Quadra-Trac II® full-time four wheel-drive with low range
• Selec-Terrain® traction control with five driving modes
• Off-Road Adventure Group II
• Skid-plate and rock-rail protection
• Flame-red front tow hooks
• Goodyear Silent Armor Kevlar® Tires
• Slush mats
• Anodized silver-painted interior trim
• Leather trim wrapped steering wheel
• Suede/leather trim seats with red accent stitching
• Black hood applique (For "glare reduction," no doubt... -ed.)
• Ginormous badging
• General badassery

Finally, you can flaunt your American-bred off-road cred about the country club without derision - or the flies in your teeth style - that comes with dropping your janky-arse trail rig at the valet. And, if the prestige of the hefty equipment-induced MSRP doesn't do it for you, the pride points just keep coming...

Actually imported from Detroit.

As a primary benefactor of Uncle Obama's benevolence, each and every one of these bad boys rolls off the Connor Avenue assembly line in Detroit, Michigan. Making this particular Grand Cherokee variant the product of American knowhow, grizzled union craftsmen and jingoistic flag-waving determination. Just the pedigree needed to smash through G-Wagons and LX-whositiswatsits with pride in your chest and a giant Trailhawk badge on your arse. Go us. 

(Bonus points if you can ID the controversial song in the above ad. -ed.)

The Verdict: The things we make, make us. And the Jeep Grand Cherokee Trailhawk is a pretty awesome thing we make.

MSRP: Starting at $41,995

Get more here: The 2013 Jeep Grand Cherokee Trailhawk

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DISCOVERIES: 8 BIT BOOKS

As an irrational iPhone 5 mania sweeps the nation and my inbox runneth over with lolcats, isn't it about time we stepped back to a simpler time? When "social" meant face time, not Facebook. When "notes" meant paper and a fine ballpoint pen. When 8-bit music was 8-bit music because it was actually 8-bit music...

Well, lo-fi friends, look no further than the simple irony of 8 Bit Books on Etsy.com. Fight back against digital doom with notebooks crafted from actual, de-constructed Nintendo cartridges.

From Mario Brothers to Skate or Die, from Fester's Quest to Wrestlemania, they're all here in a form practically guaranteed to grind any status meeting to a halt. (Not to mention, catch the 80's-bred eye of Jill from Accounting. Wink. -ed.)

Per the pictures, craftsmanship looks like it could err a little on the loose side. However, if you're looking for the ultimate irony, that patina of love - with a delicious dash of hand-crafted sawce - will give your Super Mario super doodles even more old skool street cred. And who doesn't like that?

Best of all, these babies aren't Chinese reseller leftovers. Oh, no, they're recycled for your anti-hero hipster pleasure in greater Detroit, USA. (Or what's left of it, anyway... -ed.)

Iconically Ironic.

This is where the words go.

Make it so.

 The Verdict: If irony is art, frame these biznitches and toss 'em on your wall. Or use 'em to take notes like your grandpappy did... with a damn pen. You know, whatever....

Price: Averaging between $12-$15

Get 'em here: 8 Bit Books on Etsy

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DISCOVERY & REVIEW: THE CLYMB

Between the ski gear and the bike gear and the kayak gear and the trekking gear and the camping gear and the climbing gear and the gear gear, living the sporting life gets hella expensive. Hella quick.

With the upcoming fall camping and winter ski seasons barreling at me like an ambulance to a double black diamond on townie day, I had to find another solution for my hardware source. But who could save me the cash I need on the brands I want? (No, this isn't an ad. -ed.)

Blam:

The Clymb


INSPIRING ADVENTURES, SAVING YOU MOUNTAINS OF CASH

How do savings of up to 70% below retail on big-time outdoor brands strike you and your ever shrinking wallet? The deals swap about every three days, so you never know what you're going to get. Which isn't really a big problem when you're scoring mad kizzy on awesome brands like Kelty, Litespeed and Fjällräven.

Per their FAQ, The Clymb's offerings are not defective merchandise, factory seconds or knock-offs. They are an authorized dealer of 100% authentic hardware. Rather than ordering in advance like most retailers, it sounds like they operate in a similar fashion to stores like T.J. Maxx. Picking up gear last minute and passing the savings straight to our dirt-encrusted, calloused mitts. (Minus the ugly purses... -ed.)

Mt. Moneybags beckons.

THE EXPERIENCE

While savings of up to 70% below retail sounds too good to be true, the site appears to be legit. Several orders have arrived clean, properly billed and totally awesome. Additionally, anecdotal evidence floating about the office seems to back up our positive experience. Just keep an eye out. Like Ikea, most of the sales are totally killer, but we've notice a few merely average deals tucked innocently into all the awesomeness. Shop smart and you'll be money, my friend.

Scout's honor.

WELCOME TO THE CLUB

The Clymb is invite only. However, if you do need an invite to this illustrious and elite club, just drop us an email with your name, email address and a few words explaining why you deserve it in the body, and we'll see what we can do...



Verdict: 9 out of 10 Hup-Huzzahs!

Check it here: The Clymb

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BUNKER LIKE THE PROS WITH THE ARMY SPECIAL FORCES FIELD MANUAL

Say you're going up against a zombie hoard. Or a ravaging alien army. Or the Canadians. You want to make sure your hidey hole is properly sited, constructed and protected. You want to make sure your walls are thick enough and your mortars are mortary enough.

Fortunately for you, savvy suburban survivalist, Public Intelligence now offers Army Field Manual (FM) 3-05.230 Special Forces Tactical Facilities online. And it's totes free.

With most everything you need to know about modern battlefield fortifications, it sure beats the hell out of The Big Bear Cub Scout Book.


The Verdict: My office has never been more secure. Or dusty.
Stupid sandbags...

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BREAKING: LAND ROVER RELEASES ALL-NEW FORD EXPLORER

Er... All-New 2013 Range Rover.

Surely, we jest. But look at this thing. Gone are the regal, boxy and comfortably stuffy trappings of Range Roverdom, replaced instead with a profile that screams current-gen Ford Explorer rhinoplastied with the schnoz of the tepid Freelander cum LR2.

Sure, it boasts a lighter, stronger all-aluminum monocoque body. Sure, it delivers improved carbon dioxide emissions. Sure it's still built in Solihull, UK. And it probably drives amazingly. And coddles sumptuously. But how the company that produced the gloriously English Defender XTech, not to mention a long line of uber-capable royalty shleppers, could possibly churn out this design homage to a quasi-crossover Ford, we may never know.

God save the Queen.

Did we nail it, or did we fail it? Drop your harrumphs in the comments below.


Image Reference: Land Rover Media Centre

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DISCOVERIES: LAND ROVER DEFENDER XTECH SPECIAL EDITION

For King and Countries.

Sending the butler to nip 'round the corner for a spot of fish and chips - by way of Bombay, Zaire and the Lesser Antilles? The randy boys and girls of Solihull have your man covered with a new Land Rover special edition: The Defender XTech.

Building on the Defender's iconic design, the XTech adds even more rugged appeal to an already formidable package. Outside, it stands out from the crossover crowd in either Orkney Grey or edition-exclusive Nara Bronze paired with contrasting Santorini Black roof, wheel arches and headlight surrounds. All lending a vaguely militaristic look that would do even the hardest SAS trooper proud.

Whether 90 Hard Top or 110 Utility Wagon, function is provided courtesy black chequer sill plates, LED taillights, Gloss Black Saw Tooth 16-inch allow wheels and rugged MTR off-road tyres. (Beefy, toothy rubber similar to, but not quite, the BF Goodrich MTR's profiled awhile back.) Sundry other special touches, both inside and out, complete the XTech's purposeful visage in a fashion appropriate to our powder-whigged English ancestors.

Unfortunately, for us Yanks anyway, the 2.2-litre diesel-powered XTech isn't making the trip across across the pond. Strictly UK and whatnot, Old Bean. It's almost enough to make you wish George Washington wasn't such a hothead back in the day. (Well, almost. -ed.)


Price: Starting from £27,995 (The Pound's still a thing, right?)

Check it here: Land Rover Defender XTech Special Edition

Image Source: Land Rover Media Centre

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