FIVE RON SWANSON-THEMED GIFT IDEAS RON SWANSON WOULD PROBABLY APPROVE OF

Christmas and the assorted associated gift-giving holidays are fast approaching. So what do you get that red-blooded, meat-noming, government-mistrusting relative or coworker (probably with a heart of gold) who just so happens to want for nothing he/she can't craft with their own two hands?

Most likely you won't find it a Walmart Black Friday Sale stampede. No, you have to dig deeper than the shallow baubles and flat screen televisions that the commercialized military industrial complex prefers to peddle down your throat. You, sir or madame, need a gift of Ron Swanson magnitude. As such, I present to you the top Ron Swanson gifts worth giving this holiday season. Now, go forth and consume, Patriot!

Gift #5 - Ron Swanson Inspired Flattened Bottle Cap Magnets

AS SEEN ON: Snug-A-Bug Blankets via Etsy.com
KEY ATTRIBUTES: Bacon, Eggs and Beer
PRICE: $4.00 USD
MADE IN: Canada, America's 51st State.
SUITABLE FOR: Overpowering less enlightened refrigerator art

Gift #4 - Turf & Turf Ron Swanson Print 8x10

AS SEEN ON: Bill Main via Etsy.com
KEY ATTRIBUTES: Who doesn't love meat with a side of meat?
PRICE: $18.00 USD
MADE IN: California, USA.
MEAT LEVEL: Set to eleven.

Gift #3 - DIY Ron Swanson Cross Stitch Kit

AS SEEN ON: Bombastitch via Etsy.com
KEY ATTRIBUTES: The best gifts are the ones you can do yourself
PRICE: $13.00 USD
MADE IN: Texas. Just Texas.
SUITABLE FOR: The wife (Or civilized men who appreciate the beauty of fine needle works. -ed.)

Gift # 2 - Parks and Recreation Clear Alcohols Poster, Size A2

AS SEEN ON: CreativeSobriety via Etsy.com
KEY ATTRIBUTES: Words of wisdom
PRICE: $40.00 USD
MADE IN: Bloody England (I'll let this one slip. -ed.)
IGNORE: The metric measurements. Because they're metric.

Gift #1 - "Ron Swanson's" Mustache Comb Second Edition, Possibly Carved by the Man Himself

AS SEEN ON: Offerman Woodshop
KEY ATTRIBUTES: Mustache grooming, Ron-ness
PRICE: $75.00 USD
MADE IN: America, baby. Just like G. Washington intended.
ALSO SUITABLE FOR: Father's Day

Did I make the call, or did I drop the ball? Sound off in the comments below or hit me up on Twitter.

---

Posted in: amuricah,discoveries,misc,usa