Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Ron Swanson’s Mustache Comb: The Only Father’s Day Gift You’ll Ever Need. Ever.*

Heroic.

Father’s Day is upon us.


Every year about this time, it rolls up. Just like mandatory clockwork. The one day a year you’re forced to awkwardly hand Pops a gift, that he doesn’t want, to show your appreciation, that he already knows you feel, for his having weaned you into a man. (Or extremely awesome woman. –ed.)

And so, every year, you search for said gift. Combing hardware stores, car junkyards and value-priced department stores for the perfect curio to say, “Thanks for teaching me the ways of the world and not ditching me at the mall when I was three.” Fortunately, I have one word for you:

STOP.

For I have located the Holy Grail. The Father’s Day gift to end all Father’s Day gifts: A limited edition mustache comb (possibly) hand carved by Parks and Recreation's own Ron Swanson himself. Or by Nick Offerman, the actor who plays him… Close enough.

As seen on the Pyramid of Greatness. Maybe.

BEHOLD.

  • “Hand carved out of varying exotic and local woods"
  • “Non-Toxic”
  • “Stache friendly finish”
  • Customized wood burned initials (Only $25 bucks! -ed.)

Consider your Father’s Day gift buying DONE. Forever. As, each and every Father’s Day hence, he’ll fondly gaze at its personalized, hand-crafted wooden glory and smile. Inwardly, of course. Dads don’t actually smile. Ever.

Verdict: 11/10 gavels

Buy it here now: Offerman Woodshop



UPDATE: FIVE MORE RON SWANSON-INSPIRED GIFTS RON SWANSON WOULD PROBABLY APPROVE OF >>


*Mustache not required.

Image source: Offerman Woodshop.