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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

TOTAL MEMEAGE: KIM JONG UN EDITION

Total Memeage - An ode to Kim Jong Un rendered in meme.

The heat is building in the Koreas, so we figured it's time to step back, inject a little humor in the situation and take things down a teensy notch. After all, laugher is the best medicine. Or Potassium Iodide. Whatever.




Can't get a positive kill ratio in Black Ops. Nukes them all.
Sad, but true?


Lost at Starcraft again. Zerg Rush for reals.
Million man army? Get it?


Fourth meal embargoed. Goes all Red Dawn on us.
The less-than-stellar remake.

Did we nail it or did we fail it? (Probably the latter, -ed.)
Sound off in the comments below or on Twitter @PstApclyptcLwyr.


Saturday, April 6, 2013

#XG2D: 10 REASONS DETROIT IS THE PERFECT X GAMES HOST FOR REALS

#XG2D: 10 Reasons Detroit is the perfect X Games Host
The X Games is all about EXXTREEEME sports. Detroit is a city of extremes. So what better place to hold the extreme X Games than the extreme post-apocalyptic wasteland that is the City of Detroit?


Announced days ago, The D's bid to land the games is backed by gorgeous videos created by Detroit craft film producers, The Work. Needless to say, I am PSYCHED. And here are ten reasons that you should be, too:


10) Detroit's set design is already done.

Look at these vistas. Both eXtreme to the max and hauntingly beautiful.


9) Detroit has emptiness.

You want to shut down the streets? You want to claim city blocks? You want to jump cars through buildings like high octane wrecking balls? Be our guest. No one will complain. Detroit has already survived a giant robot onslaught and a joint Chinese/North Korean invasion. Gymkhana won't be a problem.

Michigan Central Station, Home of Transformers. And other movies like Transformers.
Michigan Central Station Studios.

8) Detroit has density.

Sure. Nobody actually lives in Detroit. (Well, technically 706,000 people - spread across an apocalyptic wasteland larger than Boston, San Francisco and Manhattan combined - still do.) But the Metro region is population packed and well-paid. Enough heads and disposable income to support the second largest theater venue circuit in the nation - just behind Manhattan's Broadway - and three professional sports teams.


7) Detroit has Location, Location, Location.

Easy Driving distance to Chicago, Toronto and 63.7% of the Canadian population. (He totally made that number up. -ed.) Road and rail links to the eastern seaboard. Not to mention, a Delta hub at one of the bitchin'-est airports in the world. Boom.

Gorgeous Detroit at sunset. #XG2D
To your left, Canada.

6) Detroit has awesome Hotels.

The Book Cadillac. MGM Grand. MotorCity. And more sweet-urban-boutique-lofty-hipster-things are on the way.


5) Detroit is fostering a vibrant & growing youth creative culture

Detroit hit rock bottom. And the city has realized that to come back, it needs to change. Anything must go. And it does. Young change agents are flooding the city. Overflowing available housing. And taking control of a place where you can be a big fish in small, rapidly evolving pond. And it's awesome.

Detroit Rooftop Parties do exist.
Yes, that is a trendy rooftop hipster party, thank you.

4) Detroit has Belle Isle

A beautiful island park designed by the same guy who designed New York City's Central Park, nestled between two peaceful nations and ringed by a recently refurbed, naturally access controlled racetrack.





3) Detroit can do big events.

Detroit is no stranger to epic event pageantry. Take the annual Detroit Marathon, The Woodward Dream Cruise, the Vans Warped Tour, the Detroit Grand Prix, any Tigers evening game or the freaking Super Bowl, for instance.

Detroit Tigers capacity crowd, Comerica Park.
Full house, all day long.

2) Detroit loves cars. And motorcycles. And anything with wheels.

The city put the world on wheels, and it's never forgotten those roots. They still build cars. They even build bikes. Because the good people of Metro Detroit build a passion for locomotion that you won't find anywhere else. Which means mega crowds for rally cars, trick motorcycles and skateboards aren't a stretch.


1) Detroit is making headlines.

Detroit is an integral part of the national zeitgeist right now. It's in the media. It's in advertising. Put them together, and it spells buzz, coverage and eyeballs.

Detroit Tigers Rally Cap, Comerica Park.
Rally Caps activated.


Detroit is a city of extremes. A city that's down and out. And a city that's on the rise. A city where old is new. And new is old. Where poverty and wealth and desolation and promise collide, creating the crossroads of a generation. Our generation.

And that's why Detroit is the perfect place to host the X Games.


Join the movement at the X Games Detroit Bid on Facebook.

Did we nail it, or did we fail it?
Sound off in the comments below, or hit us on Twitter @PstApclyptcLwyr.







Wednesday, April 3, 2013

BREAKING: DETROIT ANNOUNCES TOTALLY EXTREME X GAMES HOSTING BID

The post-apocalyptic wasteland that is Detroit just announced that it's throwing its tattered hardhat into X Games hosting ring.


And they're backing their long-shot bid with kick ass videos - like the ones below - featuring rally cars, helicopters and acres of RoboCop-esque dystopias created by Detroit craft film producers, The Work.

Despite my sarcastic tone, I, for one, am totally amped about this development. To the eXtreme. Seriously. (He's not kidding this time. -ed.)

Thanks to bargain basement real estate prices, myriad underground music scenes, creative influencers, experimental kick starters, craft brewerscorporate supporters and big-time boosters like Dan Gilbert, downtown Detroit is getting stronger, hipper and less murderier everyday. And I truly believe that the X Games couldn't find a more photogenic, youth-centric and EEEXXXTREEEME city in this great nation of ours today.

So go pound a vodka Red Bull and join the movement at their Facebook page.
(Or tell him he's crazy in the comments below. -ed.)















Tuesday, April 2, 2013

MONSANTO THREATENS FACEBOOK POSTER WITH CHEMICAL DOOM

Quick! Spray him! - Things you don't want to hear from Monsanto. March 29th, 2013 started like any other day. But for one Facebook concerned citizen it quickly took a turn for the eye-irritating and skin burning. Because March 29th was the day that Monsanto Company threatened to spray him with pesticide.


Did a civilized discussion of the benefits and dangers of Monsanto's GMO products and practices warrant such a snide and threatening response?

GMO threats go viral?
Survey says, no.


Sure. Monsanto played what is surely no joking manner for a joke with two frantic covering messages posted moments later, but the damage was done the instant some intern at their social media agency hit "post." If corporations are people, as our government  and the Wall Street Journal want us to believe, Monsanto should probably not consider a lasting career in standup comedy. (Or, more likely, brace for a solid face thrashing. -ed.)

What do you think? Funny corporate social media hijinks, or a revealing look at the sordid underbelly of big Farma? Goggle up, and drop your thoughts in the comments below.