Monday, July 2, 2012

PAL Survival Team #3: Michelle "The First Lady" Obama

Welcome to the PAL Survival Team. A running dossier/celebration of the men, women and non-elected representatives you want on your side when Justice stops prevailing... And starts getting real.

PAL Survival Team #3:

Michelle "The First Lady" Obama

In light of last week's 40th anniversary of Title IX, the upcoming July 4th holiday and the historic SCOTUS Affordable Care Act ("Obamacare") affirmation, I hereby anoint the one woman who embodies them all: Michelle Obama, the first female member of the PAL Survival Team. (The First Lady? Get it? Yeah...)

Now, before all my right-leaning friends with guns start raising a ruckus about this ballsy nomination, let's run through the reasoning - keeping in mind that, when society falls and you're scrounging for the smallest sip of non-irradiated water to satisfy your thirst to survive, your stance on capital gains isn't going to matter a whole lot. Now, with that delightful image in your head, are you ready? Here we go!

Reason #1: She's a proud product of Title IX, and she packs the guns to prove it.

Ticket to the gun show? Yes, plz.
(Sorry, Ellen.)

Reason #2: Her mind cradles a bountiful cornucopia of organic farming knowledge.

For us to eat on?

Reason #3: She's got the keys to the most well-hidden, well-stocked and well-defended bunkers in the world. (Flying or otherwise, baby.)

Crazy town.

Still raising a ruckus now? I didn't think so...

Photo reference: Wendy Piersall via Used under Creative Commons.